Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
