that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My dick has a subreddit
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
