things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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