Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
