Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
