I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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