We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
