Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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