remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
