I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
