I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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