We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
