I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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