we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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