There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
