Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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