So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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