I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
