Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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