At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
