So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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