Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
