The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
