they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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