Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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