maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
