I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I need moral support for this bender
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
