just come out here and I will go home with you...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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