I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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