so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
