So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
