So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
