I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
