I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
