Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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