addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
