1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
