so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
