I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
