Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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