Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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