we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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