Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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