I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
