how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
two words...techno handjob
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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