did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
