Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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