When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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