I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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