He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
