jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
