Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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