I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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