Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
