if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
