Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
