i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
