Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
