her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
