the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
