Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
