i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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