I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
