Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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